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UNFOLDMENT OF LOVE FOR GOD
Another irritating disease which troubled me was canker in my mouth. Often I was able to eat scarcely any food for several days. I had formerly used boric powder on the sores, but after studying Christian Science I decided they should be healed without the medical application. This was done through understanding in some degree the "scientific statement of being," as given on page 468 of "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy. I soon discovered that these sores appeared after a burst of temper; and thereafter I endeavored to control my temper, and the sores ceased coming.
One of the first spiritual events that stands out clearly after my first coming into Christian Science was as follows. One day I was thinking of the benefits I had received through healings, and when I raised my heart in gratitude to God I was faced with the fact that I did not love God. I was grateful to and could love the practitioner; but when I mentally tried to thank God, I was cold and indifferent. I puzzled over the matter. Here God had blessed me and I could say, "Thank you;" but there was no warmth behind it. I felt I could not go on like that, for I never could ask for another healing. Then I analyzed my concept of God before I knew anything of Christian Science. I had thought of Him as being the originator of condemnation, sacrifice, and evil, and had decided that the less I knew about Him the better. But in studying Science and Health I had discovered that He is kind and gracious, and is not conscious of evil. I had learned this intellectually, but it evidently had not dispelled the old resentment. So then I turned with a great desire to God and said simply, "Make me love You, O God; for I do not seem to be able to do it." I was satisfied with that; and within a few days, without further thought on the matter, the flower of love unfolded within my thought.
These are the lamps along our path that keep us with our face turned toward our God. I have had many other healings and blessings in Christian Science for which I am grateful.
Christian Science Sentinel, February 20, 1926
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